Empathy... What It Is and What It Is NOT
While empathy (and any other components of emotional intelligence) is not a magic wand, it is a tremendously powerful tool to build the relationships, business and life you are excited to wake up to!
“Empathetic listening is so powerful as it gives you accurate data to work with. Instead of projecting your own autobiography and thoughts, feelings, motives and interpretations, you are dealing with the reality inside the other person’s heart.”
– Steven Covey
Why Empathy?
Empathy is crucial to shifting the balance from a rather tense conversation to more collaborative teamwork and co-creation. We covered what empathy is in the earlier article “Empathy…or How to shift the balance in relationships using Emotional Intelligence”; what is really important now is to understanding what empathy is not.
Empathy is not Compassion
On a spectrum of empathy, compassion stands on the top, presenting your willingness to help and take action to change either the situation or how the person feels. It is important to note that empathy is your ability to “hold space” for another person without acting on your desire to help.
Empathy is not Sympathy
Sympathy puts the speaker first, eventually expressing how they feel about the situation. The statement would start with “I” or “me” and would sound along the lines of “I am sorry to hear that...”, “I am sad to see you in pain,” etc. Being empathetic is actually acknowledging the other’s party's feelings; therefore, the statement would start with “you”: “you sound upset”, and “how are you holding in this situation?”
Empathy is not a validation of a point of view
Empathy is acknowledging that the other party holds that point of view, but it does not mean you have to agree with it. However, the importance here is that you are willing to look at the situation from a different perspective. This decision is the stepping stone towards collaboration and creating successful interpersonal relationships.
“Empathy is essential interpersonal tool.”
It helps to build relationships based on trust and respect, and as a result, you will experience what is called effective collaboration. When you make an empathetic statement, you shift the balance towards a beautiful alliance and open the door to enjoyable co-creation.
There is no doubt that intellect works best when accompanied by high Emotional Intelligence. Let’s bring more ease and grace to our life by using emotional intelligence as a tool for a happier life. If you need more structured support – book a free discovery call and let’s chat!
